Top Ten Signs this wasn't your Christmas

10. Your aunt with the mole is waiting for you under the mistletoe… and she has a cold sore.

9. You drank an entire punch bowl of eggnog before you realized it had gone bad.

8. At your company Christmas party you hear co-workers refer to you as "the ghost of employee past".

7. On Boxing Day you find the gifts you bought your family for sale on Ebay.

6. You forgot a bag of goldfish you bought your kids as a gift in the car. You find them Christmas morning and they're coi-sicles.

5. You're trapped by a fruitcake avalanche at a bake sale and have to eat your way out.

4. The only Christmas tree you were able to afford was tiny, yellow and had Vanillaroma written on it.

3. The salesperson where you're buying gifts asks, "You're not a cop, are you?"

2. You didn’t get your presents from Santa and on January 3rd you detect a strange odour coming from the chimney.

1. For Christmas your dad gives you… something to cry about.